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爆笑医疗笑话--每天医院一开门,就觉得是一大波僵尸在靠近...

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发表于 2020-10-21 13:56:31 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

                    

                    

                    
                    
                    <p style=""><strong style=""><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; padding: 0px; margin: 0px; font-size: 14px; line-height: 28px; font-family: simsun;"><img src="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz/uwD6icYMd8CdPvkFkiblghjjWUpcltNQViaNczNVUSUrFe0lCpCic3TBdicbfAicIECDqYklggpTmywT3eEzZ7rkelwA/0" data-ratio="0.20725388601036268" data-w="386" width="auto" width="auto" src="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz/uwD6icYMd8CdPvkFkiblghjjWUpcltNQViaNczNVUSUrFe0lCpCic3TBdicbfAicIECDqYklggpTmywT3eEzZ7rkelwA/0" style="word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; width: auto !important; visibility: visible !important;"  /></span></strong></p><p style="">当前,中国医生不仅身体压力大,心理压力更大。而工作的繁忙使得他们根本没有时间去娱乐来缓解一下身心压力。最近,笔者在网络上看到许多笑死人不偿命的医疗笑话,令人啼笑皆非!希望这些笑话能博您一笑,以缓解工作压力。</p><p style=""><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /></p><p style=""><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;">  </span><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;">1、“植物大战僵尸”医院版</strong><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;">  每天医院一开门,我就觉得是一大波僵尸在靠近。分诊台是大坚果,减缓僵尸进攻的脚步,各个诊室医生是豌豆射手,分排打击僵尸。主诊医生是樱桃炸弹,一个顶三个用,耐心滴老专家们的柜员是单发射手,总能消灭僵尸,但需要很长时间。老头老太太是看报纸僵尸,平时动作很慢,一旦惹毛了就发疯了。不讲理的是怪兽僵尸,还时不时就抛个小僵尸攻击我们,用激烈言语攻击。关键是打僵尸时还得注意医德医风标准服务,让患者不满意了就疯了!有的顺利通关,有时还得打无尽版。</span><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"> </span><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"> 2、说谁呢<br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /></strong><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;">  一日大风降温,一同事风湿复发,腿痛难忍,去看医生,医生嘱其注意腿部保暖。于是他便买了一条很厚的羽绒裤穿上。同事皆笑他。他正色道:“这叫‘人暖腿、狗暖嘴’。”众人狂笑不止。他回身一看,主任戴着一个大口罩站在他背后……</span><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;">3、输液</strong><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;">  有一次生病输液,坐着玩手机,时间过的飞快。一抬头看到瓶子见底了,顿时慌神儿了,就喊道:“服务员,满上!”此后,我是这家门诊的名人!</span><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;">  </span><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;">4、有痔疮么?</strong><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;">  一外科医生去餐厅吃饭,点菜时服务员总挠屁股。</span><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;">  医生关切地问:有痔疮么?</span><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;">  服务员不耐烦地答道:请照菜谱点,菜谱没有的不要点!</span><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"> </span><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"> 5、装修</strong><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /><br style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"  /></p><p style="">  和同学推病人到手术室开刀,隔壁是骨科手术,电锯、电钻等器械发出的声音此起彼伏:“咚咚咚”,“嗞嗞嗞”,“呜……”。病人问我:“医生,隔壁怎么在搞装修啊?”我满头黑线,要不要告诉他是在做手术呢……</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; max-width: 100%; word-wrap: normal; min-height: 1em; white-space: pre-wrap; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><img data-s="300,640" src="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz/A1DicCH9Vl6MJIcDia8DjnxmueMtMaviaxkpPks1KuskPwT51OTbWsMDGknn9aanm7WBfRmOz9miciadnME3Sb79mYA/0" data-ratio="0.6106719367588933" data-w="" width="auto" width="auto" src="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz/A1DicCH9Vl6MJIcDia8DjnxmueMtMaviaxkpPks1KuskPwT51OTbWsMDGknn9aanm7WBfRmOz9miciadnME3Sb79mYA/640" style="word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; width: auto !important; visibility: visible !important;"  /></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; max-width: 100%; word-wrap: normal; min-height: 1em; 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word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(192, 0, 0);"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(62, 62, 62);"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; line-height: 2em;"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(15, 36, 62);"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(62, 62, 62);"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(192, 0, 0);"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; text-align: center; white-space: normal;"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(0, 176, 80);">您看此文耗时</span></strong><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 2em;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><img src="http://b255.photo.store.qq.com/psb?/V13AWLGJ32XyzL/w8pY6Xeekr4WiASiPqFeI4*nEQTimG2CRlYpMNObWp0!/b/dAoWBJiBCwAA&amp;bo=EAAkAAAAAAACABA!&amp;rf=photoDetail" height="48" width="16px" data-ratio="2.25" data-w="16" width="16px" src="http://b255.photo.store.qq.com/psb?/V13AWLGJ32XyzL/w8pY6Xeekr4WiASiPqFeI4*nEQTimG2CRlYpMNObWp0!/b/dAoWBJiBCwAA&amp;bo=EAAkAAAAAAACABA!&amp;rf=photoDetail" style="border: 0px; background-attachment: scroll; background-image: none; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; width: 16px !important; visibility: visible !important; background-position: 0% 0%;"  /> <img src="http://b255.photo.store.qq.com/psb?/V13AWLGJ32XyzL/sdgIQmdgpbv1qhfBaqQI7igWbfePRJtEopMnzVOJBGo!/b/dGOYCJj9CgAA&amp;bo=EAAkAAAAAAACABA!&amp;rf=photoDetail" height="48" width="16px" data-ratio="2.25" data-w="16" width="16px" src="http://b255.photo.store.qq.com/psb?/V13AWLGJ32XyzL/sdgIQmdgpbv1qhfBaqQI7igWbfePRJtEopMnzVOJBGo!/b/dGOYCJj9CgAA&amp;bo=EAAkAAAAAAACABA!&amp;rf=photoDetail" style="border: 0px; background-attachment: scroll; background-image: none; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; width: 16px !important; visibility: visible !important; background-position: 0% 0%;"  />·<img src="http://b255.photo.store.qq.com/psb?/V13AWLGJ32XyzL/07UYdIzYPtLQgP1nOAPqVdialbSQvtB7tfo0sUoS.Es!/b/dAWH*5cMDAAA&amp;bo=EAAkAAAAAAACABA!&amp;rf=photoDetail" height="48" width="16px" data-ratio="2.25" data-w="16" width="16px" src="http://b255.photo.store.qq.com/psb?/V13AWLGJ32XyzL/07UYdIzYPtLQgP1nOAPqVdialbSQvtB7tfo0sUoS.Es!/b/dAWH*5cMDAAA&amp;bo=EAAkAAAAAAACABA!&amp;rf=photoDetail" style="border: 0px; background-attachment: scroll; background-image: none; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; width: 16px !important; visibility: visible !important; background-position: 0% 0%;"  /> <img src="http://b255.photo.store.qq.com/psb?/V13AWLGJ32XyzL/aVOw.rnxsJ1hibzYki6iDKOwNRZySS.nbRjM9y2dfbM!/b/dAY2B5iICwAA&amp;bo=EAAkAAAAAAACABA!&amp;rf=photoDetail" height="48" width="16px" data-ratio="2.25" data-w="16" width="16px" src="http://b255.photo.store.qq.com/psb?/V13AWLGJ32XyzL/aVOw.rnxsJ1hibzYki6iDKOwNRZySS.nbRjM9y2dfbM!/b/dAY2B5iICwAA&amp;bo=EAAkAAAAAAACABA!&amp;rf=photoDetail" style="border: 0px; background-attachment: scroll; background-image: none; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; width: 16px !important; visibility: visible !important; background-position: 0% 0%;"  /><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; white-space: normal;"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(0, 176, 80);">只需</span></strong></strong></strong></span></strong></span></strong></strong></span></strong></span></strong><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">1</span><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; font-family: 宋体; font-size: 13px; line-height: 2em; text-align: justify; text-indent: 32px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(15, 36, 62);"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(62, 62, 62);"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(192, 0, 0);"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(62, 62, 62);"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; line-height: 2em;"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(15, 36, 62);"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(62, 62, 62);"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(192, 0, 0);"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 2em;"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: red;"></span><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; color: red;"></span><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; white-space: normal;"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(0, 176, 80);">秒<strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 2em; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(15, 36, 62);"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(62, 62, 62);"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(192, 0, 0);"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); line-height: 2em;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; white-space: normal;"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; color: rgb(0, 176, 80);">转发<span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0pt; line-height: 32px; text-align: center; text-indent: 0pt; color: rgb(255, 255, 0); vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">转载</strong><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0pt; line-height: 32px; text-align: center; text-indent: 0pt; color: rgb(255, 255, 255); vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">是一种</strong><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0pt; line-height: 32px; text-align: center; text-indent: 0pt; color: rgb(255, 0, 0); vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">智慧</strong><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0pt; line-height: 32px; text-align: center; text-indent: 0pt; color: rgb(255, 255, 255); vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">,</strong><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0pt; line-height: 32px; text-align: center; text-indent: 0pt; color: rgb(0, 176, 240); vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">分享</strong><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0pt; line-height: 32px; text-align: center; text-indent: 0pt; color: rgb(255, 255, 255); vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">是一种</strong><strong style="max-width: 100%; word-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0pt; line-height: 32px; text-align: center; text-indent: 0pt; color: rgb(255, 192, 0); vertical-align: baseline; background-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">美德</strong></span></span></span></strong></strong></strong></span></strong></span></strong></span></strong></strong></strong></span></strong></span></strong></strong></span></strong></span></strong></p>
               
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